POETRY: The Trappist Cemetery — Gethsemani, by Thomas Merton

Brothers, the curving grasses and their daughters
Will never print your praises:
The trees our sisters, in their summer dresses,
Guard your fame in these green cradles:
The simple crosses are content to hide your characters.

Oh do not fear
The birds that bicker in the lonely belfry
Will ever give away your legends.
Yet when the sun, exulting like a dying martyr,
Canonizes, with his splendid fire, the somber hills,
Your graves all smile like little children,
And your wise crosses trust the mothering night
That folds them in the Sanctuary’s wings.

You need not hear the momentary rumors of the road
Where cities pass and vanish in a single car
Filling the cut beside the mill
With roar and radio,
Hurling the air into the wayside branches
Leaving the leaves alive with panic.

See, the kind universe,
Wheeling in love about the abbey steeple,
Lights up your sleepy nursery with stars.

• • •

God, in your bodily life,
Untied the snares of anger and desire,
Hid your flesh from envy by these country altars,
Beneath these holy eaves where even sparrows have their houses.
But oh, how like the swallows and the chimney swifts
Do your free souls in glory play!

And with a cleaner flight,
Keener, more graceful circles,
Rarer and finer arcs
Then all these innocent attacks that skim our steeple!
How like these children of the summer evening
Do your rejoicing spirits
Deride the dry earth with their aviation!

But now the treble harps of night begin to play in the deep wood,
To praise your holy sleep,
And all the frogs along the creek
Chant in the moony waters to the Queen of Peace.
And we, the mariners, and travelers,
The wide-eyed immigrants,
Praying and sweating in our steerage cabins,
Lie still and count with love the measured bells
That tell the deep-sea leagues until your harbor.

Already on this working earth you knew what nameless love
Adorns the heart with peace by night,
Hearing, adoring all the dark arrivals of eternity.
Oh, here on earth you knew what secret thirst
Arming the mind with instinct,
Answers the challenges of God with garrisons
Of unified desire
And facing Him in His new wars
Is slain at last in an exchange of lives.

Teach us, Cistercian Fathers, how to wear
Silence, our humble armor.
Pray us a torrent of the seven spirits
That are our wine and stamina:
Because your work is not yet done.
But look: the valleys shine with promises,
And every burning morning is a prophecy of Christ
Coming to raise and vindicate
Even our sorry flesh.

Then will your graves, Gethsemani, give up their angels,
Return them to their souls to learn
The songs and attitudes of glory.
Then will creation rise again like gold
Clean, from the furnace of your litanies:
The beasts and trees shall share your resurrection,
And a new world be born from these green tombs.

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REFLECTION: What This Old Hand Knows, by Alma Roberts Giordan

From America

My husband of fifty-five years kissed my hand.  I withdrew it in embarrassment.  After all, he was never that demonstrative even in our courting days.  ”It’s not a very pretty hand,” I explained, passing the fruit bowl.  ”To me it is,” he insisted.

I looked at my hand with candor.  No, it wasn’t at all pretty.  And yet, it was fair and good to me.  Gratefully I examined its five practical digits.  (Most of my peers always had graceful “piano fingers.”)  Slowly I began to appreciate what this hand had been able to accomplish in response to my lifetime demands.  For all my deprecation it bore me no malice, not even a twinge in an overburdened knuckle.

How many microcosmic worlds has it moved about, naked of glove, as it urged beauty and food from a cooperative earth?  How many fragile seedlings has it encouraged to fruition?  How many tears has it wiped away with balled fist, or offered a paper tissue to another?  How many Band-Aids has it applied to generations of minor abrasions?  Questions.  Answers.

This square hand still wears a thin gold band between a tiny diamond and family ring.  Its nails are short, with deep half-moons.  Wrinkles, testaments of eighty years, characterize it, with a scattering of freckles and liver spots, along a network of prominent veins.  It certainly is not a pretty hand.  But it has served me well – turning pages, picking blueberries, tossing salad, braiding a child’s hair.  It is everything to the old cat, who eagerly awaits the food and drink I provide.  It has combed burrs out of hunting dogs’ tails and extended fingers to blue budgies for convenient perches.  It has rescued turtles, crickets, and garter snakes from dry wells.

For how many years has this hand and its mate mounted the keyboard of a trusty typewriter, pounding out letters that become words that eventually filled drawers with poems, essays, and stories without complaint as to the worth of such mileage?  And this but one more facet of my old hand’s dexterity.

And so I proclaim it a wondrous hand, such a miracle, as Walt Whitman and others have acknowledged.  To have filtered sunlight, caught fireflies, tested daisies for “he-loves-me, he-loves-me-not,” held  buttercups under a child’s chin, and triggered jewelweed seeds into tomorrow is not slight accomplishment for any member.  To have mastered a tugging knife, then released it, is a great piece of work for so humble a servant.  How dexterous you are, Hand, I tell it, to dial a phone, crack a nut, catch a ball, push a swing, sew a seam, turn a wheel, apply a brake, feel textures of flesh and fabric, and sign my name.

• • •

To have grasped other hands in greeting or prayer or farewell, waved loved ones off, smoothed a beloved husband’s brow as he entered eternity.  Blest have you been, old Hand.  To have stroked a long-needled pine bough, held a lens over a moth’s wing – such experiences should  never be discounted.  O good and faithful Hand, I repeat, let me remember the fine things you’ve done.  Here’s water, here’s soap to wash away deed less than noble.  Luxuriate in its cleansing joy.  Here’s food to maneuver to mouth, to the flesh and blood of me, to achieve growth and fulfillment.

Here’s a key to unlock the door, a shell to hold to an ear, sand to sift, kindling to lay on a fire, a small torch to carry.  Here’s a knob, a switch, a button, a zipper, a bell, a guitar with strings to twang.  Here’s a nail to pound into a wall on which a memory may be hung in exultation, praise, and thanksgiving.  O Hand, you truly are exceedingly beautiful and worthy of recognition.  Bless the faithful heart of the spouse who also found you so, and kissed your telltale lifeline.

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POETRY: The Letter to Hunaldus, by Columban

Cares of life the seasons bring through chance.
On roll the months and years; things pass away.
Life slips into decay as moments lapse,
Understanding giving of life on high.
Mellow lures of fleeting life, then, scorn;
Bland luxury oft conquers honest worth.
Avarice and hidden lust the soul inflame;
No mind enthralled by carping care can rest.
Viler than gold is silver: viler than virtue gold.
Supreme peace lies in this—a modest wish!

Have not I sent you verses oft to read?
Unto your ears admit my words, I pray.
No vain and fleeting joys may you beguile!
Admit how brief’s the power of thanes and kings;
Life here below deceitful glory is.
Deal kindly with this poem—perhaps too long.
Observe this rule, I pray: shun all excess!

Receive with joy, Hunaldus, and read through,
In peaceful mind, the words of your Columban,
Who now advises you with honest speech,
In which perhaps you note the lack of style
Most used in worthy works; yet they attest
The wishes and the love of a mind devout.

Live faithful to thy God and follow e’er
The precepts of our Lord while life remains
And steady seasons of good health continue.
The house flee; an age slips by in moments.
Despise the things that die—the fleeting joys
Seek not for fragile riches and vain pelf,
Nor let the flooding swarm of THINGS distract you.
But rather let the rules of Holy Writ
Be wealth to you; the lives of saints and seers,
The sacred rudders of your own life’s course.
These are the wealth to grasp, while holding e’er
As vain the wealth that fails, the whilst you let
Old palsied age invade your heart and mind—
Old age close trailed by force of ice death.
E’en now a wise man thinks about the end,
The final hours of life—the life force numbed
By age, the frequent pains, the sorrows sure,
And, most of all, the unknown day of death,
The failings of frail flesh torment the aged:
The weakened members droop in ugly leanness;
His knees grow stiff; old blood in veins runs cold.
His sluggish limbs supports he by a staff.
Why should I call to mind the mournful groans?
The weariness and ennui of the mind?
No sleep has he; all sounds disturb him now.
What then avail th’ excessive silver coins,
The mass of yellow gold, through long years hoarded?
The favors of the rich? The sumptuous feasts?
What boots it to recall the joys gone by,
When that the end of utmost age has come?
The man who can withdraw with mind alert
As life flies by, spurns greed and honors vain.
Oh, why do mortals itch to strain their minds
With earthy cares? And ever chase base wealth?
Misers aye need a coin, the poet saith.
As money grows, so grows the love of it.
He wants midst plenty, hath not what he thinks.
At home alone he hides his gold in chests;
Amasses wealth, but can’t enjoy himself.
Who lays by all in trust, loves well his heir!
Oh, truly happy is the man for whom
A moderate living doth suffice, so that
His body may be ruled by firm regime!
Not seized by blind and wretched lust for goods,
He asks no more than Nature doth require;
He does not—wild for wealth—still stuff his purse;
He gathers not soft garments for the worms;
He cares not for the pasture of his steeds.
Nor ponders in an anxious heart such cares,
As that his goods may burn in sudden flame
Or wicked thieves his broken strongbox rifle.
Now lives he without silver and eke gold.
Nude is man born, and nude the earth receives him.
Black gates of Pluto open wide for wealth;
For pious poor the Heavenly Kingdom waits.
Our Savior warns the greedy wealth to scorn.
Who loves the Christ, Christ’s footsteps follows close.
No matter what the brief and fragile frame
Of dying flesh may have, the speedy flight
Of rapid time doth snatch it swift away.
The truthful bard hath nobly sung such things.
Time, counting o’er the seasons of our age,
And of our flickering life, takes care of all;
For everything is borne along by time.
The elements and seasons change their course:
First days grow long; then nights in turn increase.
Seasons there are for blossoms, and for fruits.
Again the fields are covered with thick turf.
A time there is for joy as well as grief;
A time for life, a sadder time for death.
Swift time doth all things give, and all things take,
And all things lessen. Yet do summer, winter,
Spring and the fall, year after year, return.
Although all these return, his youth doth not
To any man return. A wise man doth
Recall this every hour, and doth prefer
The hours of lamentation to rich feasts.
I send these lines with one last humble prayer!
Be mindful of me as you read this poem;
So you may have long years of fine old age.

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HOLINESS: How Easy It Is To Be Holy, by Jean-Pierre de Caussade

From Abandonment to Divine Providence

If the business of becoming holy seems to present insufferable difficulties, it is merely because we have a wrong idea about it.  In reality, holiness consists of one thing only: complete loyalty to God’s will.  Now everyone can practice this loyalty, whether actively or passively.

To be actively loyal means obeying the laws of God and the church, and fulfilling all the duties imposed on us by our way of life.  Passive loyalty means that we lovingly accept all that God sends us at each moment of the day.  Now is there anything here too difficult for  us?  Certainly nothing in active loyalty, for if its duties are beyond our powers, we are not expected to attempt to fulfill them.  If we are too ill to go to Mass, we need not.  And it is the same for all other precepts which lay down duties.  But, of course, there can be no exemption from precepts which forbid wrongdoing, for we are never allowed to sin.  Can anything be more sensible?  Or easier?  We are left without any excuse.  Yet God asks nothing more than this.  But he does require it from everyone, without exception.  Class, time, and place mean nothing.  Everyone must obey.  Yet all he is asking from us is very straight-forward and quite easy.  We can become truly holy by obeying these simple rules.  However, apart from the commandments, he gives us counsels of perfection; yet, even here, he takes care that the practice of them fits in with our temperament and our position in life.  He never drives anyone beyond his strength or ability.  What could be fairer?

God has compelled me to write this to help you who seek to be holy and are discouraged by what you have read in the lives of saints and some books dealing with spiritual matters.  So do, please, try to learn from me.

God, who is all goodness, has made easily available for all this things necessary for life, such as earth, air, and water.  And what could be more vital than breathing, eating, and sleeping?  And what is easier?  When we turn to spiritual matters, love and loyalty are just as vital, so they cannot be as difficult to acquire as we imagine.  Consider your life, and  you will see that it consists of countless trifling actions.  Yet God is quite satisfied with them, for doing them as they should be done is the part we have to play in our striving for perfection.  There can be no doubt about this.  Holy Scripture makes it very plain: “Fear God, and keep his commandments, since this is the whole duty of man.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13)  This is all we have to do.  This is active loyalty.  If we do our part, God will do the rest.  Grace will pour into us and will perform marvels far beyond our understanding, for “no eye has seen and no ear has heard things beyond the mind of man, all that God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)  To be passively loyal is even easier, since it implies only that we accept what very often we cannot avoid, and endure with love and resignation things which could cause us weariness and disgust.  Once again, this is what being holy means.  It is the mustard seed which is almost too small to be recognized or harvested, the drachma of the Gospels, the treasure that no one finds, as it is thought to be too well hidden to be looked for.

But what is the secret of finding this treasure?  There isn’t one.  This treasure is everywhere.  It is offered to us all the time and wherever we are.  All creatures, friends, or foes, pour it out in abundance, and it flows through every fiber of our body and soul until it reaches the very core of our being.  If we open our mouths they will be filled.  God’s activity runs through the universe.  It wells up and around and penetrates every created being.  Where they are, there it is also.  It goes ahead of them, it is with them and it follows them.  All they have to do is let its waves sweep them onwards.  If only kings and their ministers, princes of the church and of the world, priests, soldiers, and ordinary people knew how easy it would be for them to become very holy!  All they need to do is fulfill faithfully the simple duties of Christianity all those called for by their state of life, accept cheerfully all the troubles they meet and submit to God’s will in all that they have to do or suffer – without, in any way, seeking out trouble for themselves.  It is this attitude which gave such holiness to those patriarchs and prophets who lived long before there were so many methods of spirituality and so many directors of souls.  This is the true spirituality,  which is valid for all times and for everybody.  We cannot become truly good in a better, more marvelous, and yet easier way than by the simple use of the means offered us by God, the unique director of souls.  It is the ready acceptance of all that comes to us at each moment of our lives.

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PRAYER: The Prayer of the Mind in the Heart

From The Art of Prayer – An Orthodox Anthology, compiled by Igumen chariton of Valamo

Sometimes we pray by using the words of prayers already composed; at other times prayer is born directly in the heart, and from there rises to God.  Such was the prayer of Moses before the Red Sea.  The Apostle refers to it in the words, “By grace, singing in your heart to the Lord.”  Explaining this text, Saint John Chrysostom writes: “Sing from the grace of the Spirit, says Paul, not simply with the lips but with attention, standing with your thought before God in your heart.  For this is what singing to God means: otherwise the song is in vain, and the words vanish into thin air.  It is not sung to show off, for even if you are in the market place, you can turn to God within and sing, without being heard by anyone.  It is good to pray in the heart even when traveling, and be lifted on high.”  Only this kind of prayer is real prayer.  Oral prayer is prayer only in so far as the mind and heard also pray.

This prayer is formed in the heart by the grace of the Holy Spirit.  He who turns to God and is sanctified by the sacraments, immediately receives feeling towards God within himself, which from this moment begins to lay the foundation in  his heart for the ascent on high.  Provided he does not stifle it by something unworthy, this feeling will be kindled into flame, by time, perseverance, and labor.  But if he stifles it by something unworthy, although the path of approach and reconciliation to God is not thereby closed to him, this feeling will no longer be given at once and gratis.  Before him is the sweat and work of seeking and of gaining it by prayer.  But no one is refused.  Because all have grace, only one thing is necessary: to give this grace free scope to act.  Grace receives free scope in so far as the ego is crushed and the passions uprooted.  The more our heart is purified, the more lively becomes our feeling towards God.  And when the heart is fully purified, then this feeling of warmth towards God takes fire.  Even in those who have ceased for a time to experience the working of grace, this warmth towards God revives long before they have arrived at a complete purification from passions.  It is still only a seed or a spark but when it is carefully tended, it glows and begins to flame.  Yet it is not permanent, but blazes up and then dies down, and in its burning is not of even strength.  But no matter how dimly or brightly it burns, this flame of love always ascends to the Lord and sings a song to him.  Grace builds up everything, because grace is always present in believers.  Those who commit themselves irrevocably to grace, will pass under its guidance, and it shapes and forms them in a way known only to itself.

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TALES FROM BEYOND THE HORIZON: The Bull’s Head

A few days ago, someone described me as being “rigid.”  I know that it was meant (in a disguised way) to offend me.  To put me in my place.  There were other descriptions made at that time, others that made me ponder and wonder why someone would use that specific descriptive, a descriptive that held accuracy while the accuser expressed no understanding in why I was that way.

But the term, rigid, has held my attention over the time that it was uttered.

It has, in its own quiet way, changed the way that I look upon myself.  A nice change.  A most positive change.

My reaction to being described as rigid, was: and what, exactly, would a flexible mystic look like to you?

I thought about Saint Francis of Assisi responding to his father’s denouncing of Francis’s choice to join the church, condemning his abilities by accusing him of having everything he had out of the goodness of the father’s heart, and Francis’s response: to strip off all his clothing, turn his back on his father, and walk naked to his new home.

The act, at this time of reflection on the matter of rigidity, brings me to laughter.

And I thought about how despised Mother Teresa became in her ministry, how many people raised their fists against her.  Why?  Because she would not respond positively to their suggestions on how to run her ministry.

No.  Instead.  She stayed true to her visions.  She fed people.  She washed people.  She gave them a place to sleep.  And she held their hand as they slipped into death.

Dignity.  She gave them dignity.

That was her mission.  And she never wavered from it.

Absolutely rigid until she, herself, drew her last breath.

But the more I thought about how the term applied to me, the more laughter filled the space around me.

I finally realized that to call me rigid was like calling Mother Teresa a nice, little old lady: so woefully inadequate that it is most amusing.

I’m not rigid.

I’m a rock.

I don’t remember if I have written about this before, but when I was a child, I cried myself to sleep every night because I felt that I failed at honoring my mother and father.

I even had visions that reassured me that my intent was there and it was true, and that was what mattered.

I never listened to those visions.  I continued to condemn myself.

I never listened to God about who I was.  And I was just a child at the time.

It wasn’t until I had children of my own and that looked out in the world and realized that honoring one’s parents is a very complex matter.  That children need to bump up against who their parents are so that they can come to terms with who they are themselves.

That being aware of my difference from the other members of my family did not equal not honoring them.

But then I kept thinking about it all.

My life.  My desire to grow and be just like John the Baptist, probably the least flexible human being that has ever lived.  Yeah, I thought, just go ahead and suggest to John how you think he should change his outlook on life, and see how he responds.

(Still laughing.)

It was when I was in my early twenties, and I allowed the visions to “come back” (not that they had really ever gone anywhere except to where I was unconscious of them), that I first became aware of my true nature: the mystic with the bull’s head.

Before I had walked away from my visions, I had just accepted them, like a conversation with an old and dear friend, something that I found infinitely interesting and a reason to wake up every morning radiantly joyous.

But after my “normalcy” break, somehow I had grown in ways.  Perhaps it was just the few years of growth itself.  Who knows.

But now, instead of a grassy hillside underneath a tree, I lived in Berkeley, California.  I had honed out, in a way, the shape of my mind.

I had no clue about my will, though.

And there it was.  Other people who I had read about having deeply personal experiences of God came across as such sweet, open people.  Wide open.

Enthusiastic.

Not me.

It was as though God and I were in a cosmic, universal boxing ring.  He on his side.  I on mine.

And every vision became a head-on collision between the two of us.  Every concept that was given me was ripped to shreds, pulled apart unceremoniously, and stomped on until it revealed its true nature.

I always had in my mind what I absolutely knew to be the meat of the matter.

I was always, never varyingly, wrong.

God was always, never varyingly, right.

Thanks to time, this whole contentiousness went from being a challenge to being a reassurance.

I could trust God.  Maybe not always in the way I wanted to trust him, but he was, always, in the end, right.

And profoundly subtle and surprising in ways that I still surprise me.

This shouldn’t be news to anyone.  But it was to me.  And it took every ounce of energy I had to fight him directly to find it out.

No easy acceptance on face value for me.

No.  It was, you have to get your idea PAST me.

And he did.

And he did.

And he did.

But now that I look back, I am truly gobsmacked.

Challenging God like that.

Standing my ground, day after day, year after year.

Show me!

So, yeah, damn straight.  I’m rigid.

And as I look out over the others who have stood rigid in their faith, in their knowing of God, in their absoluteness, I realize that I am just like them.

For the first time in my life, thanks to a random comment, I feel that I belong to the brother- and sisterhood of the rigid.

Thanks be to God.

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POETRY: Trappists, Working, by Thomas Merton

Now all our saws sing holy sonnets in this world of timber
Where oaks go off like guns, and fall like cataracts,
Pouring their roar into the wood’s green well.

Walk to us, Jesus, through the wall of trees,
And find us still adorers in these airy churches,
Singing our other Office with our saws and axes.
Still teach Your children in the busy forest,
And let some little sunlight reach us, in our mental shades, and leafy studies.

When time has turned the country white with grain
And filled our regions with the thrashing sun,
Walk to us, Jesus, through the walls of wheat
When our two tractors come to cut them down:
Sow some light winds upon the acres of our spirit,
And cool the regions where our prayers are reapers,
And slake us, Heaven, with Your living rivers.

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FAITH: The Volunteer at Auschwitz

Written by Chuck Colson

Maximilian Kolbe was forty-five years old in the early autumn of 1939 when the Nazis invaded his homeland.  He was a Polish friar in Niepokalanow, a village near Warsaw.  There, 762 priests and lay brothers lived in the largest friary in the world.  Father Kolbe presided over Niepokalanow with a combination of industry, joy, love, and humor that made him beloved by the plainspoken brethren there.

In his simple room, he sat each morning at a pigeonhole desk, a large globe before him, praying over the world.  He did so, tortured by the fact that a pale man with arresting blue eyes and a terrifying power of manipulation had whipped the people of Germany into a frenzy.  Whole nations had already fallen to the evil Adolf Hitler and his Nazis.

“An atrocious conflict is brewing,” Father Kolbe told a group of friars one day after he had finished prayers.  ”We do not know what will develop.  In our beloved Poland, we must expect the worst.”  Father Kolbe was right.  His country was next.

On September 1, 1939, the Nazi blitzkrieg broke over Poland.  After several weeks, a group of Germans arrived at Niepokalanow on motorcycles and arrested Father Kolbe and all but two of his friars who had remained behind.  They were loaded on trucks, then into livestock wagons, and two days later arrived at Amtitz, a prison camp.

Conditions were horrible, but nor horrific.  Prisoners were hungry, but no one died of starvation.  Strangely, within a few weeks the brothers were released from prison.  Back at the friary, they found the buildings vandalized and the Nazis in control, using the facility as a deportation camp for political prisoners, refugees, and Jews.

The situation was an opportunity for ministry, and Father Kolbe took advantage of it, helping the sick and comforting the fearful.

While Kolbe and the friars used their time to serve others, the Nazis used theirs to decide just how to impose their will on the rest of Europe.  To Adolf Hitler, the Jews and Slavic people were the Untermenschen (sub humans).  Their cultures and cities were to be erased and their industry appropriated for Germany.  On October 2, Hitler outlined a secret memorandum to Hans Frank, the governor general of Poland.  In a few phrases he determined the grim outcome for millions: “The ordinary Poles are especially born for low labor.  The Polish gentry must cease to exist.  All representatives of one master for the Poles, the German.”

As for Poland’s hundreds of thousands of priests?

“They will preach what we want them to preach,” said Hitler’s memo.  ”If any priest acts differently, we will make short work of him.  The task of the priest is to keep the Poles quiet, stupid, and dull-witted.”

Maximilian Kolbe was clearly a priest who “acted differently,” from the Nazis’ designs.

In early February 1941, the Polish underground smuggled word to Kolbe that his name was on a Gestapo list: he was about to be arrested.  Kolbe knew what happened to loved ones of those who tried to elude the Nazis’ grasp: their friends and colleagues were taken instead.  He had no wife or children; his church was his family.  And he could not risk the loss of any of his brothers in Christ.  So he stayed at Niepokalanow.

At nine o’clock on the morning of February 17, Father Kolbe was sitting at his pigeonhole desk, his eyes and prayers on the globe before him, when he heard the sound of heavy vehicles outside the thick panes of his green-painted windows.  He knew it was the Nazis, but he remained at his desk.  He would wait for them to come to him.

After being held in Nazi prisons for several months, Father Kolbe was found guilty of the crime of publishing unapproved materials and sentenced to Auschwitz.  Upon his arrival at the camp in May 1941, an SS officer informed him that the life expectancy of priests there was about a month.  Kolbe was assigned to the timber detail; he was to carry felled tree trunks from one place to another.  Guards stood by to ensure that the exhausted prisoners did so at a quick trot.

Years of slim rations and overwork at Niepokalanow had already weakened Kolbe.  Now, under the load of wood, he staggered and collapsed.  Officers converged on him, kicking him with their shiny leather boots and beating him with their whips.  He was stretched out on a pile of wood, dealt fifty lashes, then shoved into a ditch, covered with branches, and left for dead.

Later, having been picked up by some brave prisoners, he awoke in a camp hospital bed alongside several other near-dead inmates.  There, miraculously, he revived.

“No need to waste gas or a bullet on that one,” chuckled one SS officer to another.  ”He’ll be dead soon.”

Kolbe was switched to other work and transferred to Barracks 14, where he continued to minister to his fellow prisoners, so tortured by hunger they could not sleep.

By the end of July 1941, Auschwitz was working like a well-organized killing machine, and the Nazis congratulated themselves on their efficiency.  The camp’s five chimneys never stopped smoking.  The stench was terrible, the the results were excellent: eight thousand Jews could be stripped, their possessions appropriated for the Reich, gassed, and cremated – all in twenty-four hours.  Every twenty-four hours.

About the only problem was the occasional prisoner from the work side of the camp who would figure out a way to escape.  When these escapees were caught, as they usually were, they would be hanged with special nooses that slowly choked out their miserable lives – a grave warning to others who might be tempted to try.

Then one July night as the frogs and insects in the marshy land surrounding the camp began their evening chorus, the air was suddenly filled with the baying of dogs, the curses of soldiers, and the roar of motorcycles.  A man had escaped from Barracks 14.

The next morning there was a peculiar tension as the ranks of phantom-thin prisoners lined up for morning roll call in the central square, their eyes on the large gallows before them.  But there was no condemned man standing there, his hands bound behind him, his face bloodied from blows and dog bites.  That meant the prisoner had made it out of Auschwitz.  And that meant death from some of those who remained.

After the roll call, Camp Commandant Fritsch ordered the dismissal of all but Barracks 14.  While the rest of the camp went about its duties, the prisoners from Barracks 14 stood motionless in line.  They waited.  Hours passed.  The summer sun beat down.  Some fainted and were dragged away.  Some swayed in place but held on; those the SS officers beat with the butts of their guns.  Father Kolbe, by some miracle, stayed on his feet, his posture as straight as his resolve.

By evening roll call the commandant was ready to levy sentence.  The other prisoners had returned from their day of slave labor; now he could make a lesson out of the fate of this miserable barracks.

Fritsch began to speak, the veins in his thick neck standing out with rage.  ”The fugitive has not been found,” he screamed.  ”Ten of you will die for him in the starvation bunker.  Next time, twenty will be condemned.”

The rows of exhausted prisoners began to sway as they heard the sentence.  The guards let them; terror was part of their punishment.

The starvation bunker!  Anything was better – death on the gallows, a bullet in the head at the Wall of Death, or even the gas in the chambers.  All those were quick, even humane, compared to Nazi starvation, for they denied you water as well as food.

The prisoners had heard the stories from the starvation bunker in the basement of Barracks 11.  They said the condemned didn’t even look like human beings after a day or two.  They frightened even the guards.  Their throats turned to paper, their brains turned to fire, their intestines dried up and shriveled like desiccated worms.

Commandant Fritsch walked the rows of prisoners.  When he stopped before a man, he would command in bad Polish, “Open your mouth!  Put out your tongue!  Show your teeth!”  And so he went, choosing victims like horses.

His dreary assistant, Palitsch, followed behind.  As Fritsch chose a man, Palitsch noted the number stamped on the prisoner’s filthy shirt.  The Nazis, as always, were methodical.  Soon there were ten men – ten numbers neatly listed on the death roll.  The chosen groaned, sweating with fear.  ”My poor wife!” one man cried.  ”My poor children!  What will they do?”

“Take off your shoes!” the commandant barked at the ten men.  This was one of his rituals; they must march to their deaths barefoot.  A pile of twenty wooden clogs made a small heap at the front of the grassy square.

Suddenly there was a commotion in the ranks.  A prisoner had broken out of line, calling for the commandant.  It was unheard of to leave the ranks, let alone address a Nazi office; it was cause for execution.

Fritsch had his hand on his revolver, as did the officers behind him.  But he broke precedent.  Instead of shooting the prisoner, he shouted at him.

“Halt!  What does this Polish pig want of me?”

The prisoners gasped.  It was their beloved Father Kolbe, the priest who shared his last crust, who comforted the dying and nourished their souls.  Not Father Kolbe!  The frail priest spoke softly, even calmly, to the Nazi butcher.  ”I would like to die in place of one of the men you condemned.”

Fritsch stared at the prisoner, No. 16670.  He never considered them as individuals; they were just a gray blur.  But he looked now.  No. 16670 didn’t appear to be insane.

“Why?” snapped the commandant.

Father Kolbe sensed the need for exacting diplomacy.  The Nazis never reversed an order; so he must not seem to be asking him to do so.  Kolbe knew the Nazi dictum of destruction: the weak and the elderly first.  He would play on this well-ingrained principle.

“I am an old man, sir, and good for nothing.  My life will serve no purpose.”

His ploy triggered the response Kolbe wanted.  ”In whose place do you want to die?” asked Fritsch.

“For that one,” Kolbe responded, pointing to the weeping prisoner who had bemoaned his wife and children.

Fritsch glanced at the weeping prisoner.  He did look stronger than this tattered No. 16670 before him.

For the first and last time, the commandant looked Kolbe in the eye.  ”Who are you?” he asked.

The prisoner looked back at him, a strange fire in his dark eyes.  ”I am a priest.”

“Ein Pfaffe!” the commandant snorted.  He looked at his assistant and nodded.  Palitsch drew a line through No. 5659 and wrote down No. 16670.  Kolbe’s place on the death ledger was set.

Father Kolbe bent down to take off his clogs, then joined the group to be marched to Barracks 11.  As he did so, No. 5659 passed by him at a distance – and on the man’s face was an expression so astonished that it had not yet become gratitude.

But Kolbe wasn’t looking for gratitude.  If he was to lay down his life for another, the fulfillment had to be in the act of obedience itself.  The joy must be found in submitting his small will to the will of One more grand.

As the condemned men entered Barracks 11, guards roughly pushed them down the stairs to the basement.

“Remove your clothes!” shouted an officer.  Christ died on the cross naked, Father Kolbe thought as he took off his pants and thin shirt.  It is fitting that I suffer as He suffered.

In the basement the ten men were herded into a dark, windowless cell.

“You will dry up like tulips,” sneered one jailer.  Then he swung the heavy door shut.

As the hours and days passed, however, the camp became aware of something extraordinary happening in the death cell.  Past prisoners had spent their dying days howling, attacking one anther, clawing the walls in a frenzy of despair.

But now, coming from the death box, those outside heard the faint sounds of singing.  For this time the prisoners had a shepherd to gently lead them through the shadows of the valley of death, pointing them to the Great Shepherd.  And perhaps for that reason Father Kolbe was the last to die.

On August 14, 1941, there were four prisoners still alive in the bunker, and it was needed for new occupants.  A German doctor named Boch descended the steps of Barracks 11, four syringes in his hand.  Several SS troopers and a prisoner named Brono Borgowiec (who survived Auschwitz) were with him – the former to observe and the latter to carry out the bodies.

When they swung the bunker door open, there, in the light of their flashlight, they saw Father Maximilian Kolbe, a living skeleton, propped against one wall.  His head was inclined a bit to the left.  He had the ghost of a smile on his lips and his eyes wide open, fixed on some faraway vision.  He did not move.

The other three prisoners were on the floor, unconscious but alive.  The doctor took care of them first, a jab of the needle into the bony left arm, the push of the piston in the syringe.  It seemed a waste of the drug, but he had his orders.  Then he approached No. 16670 and repeated the action.

In a moment, Father Kolbe was dead.

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POETRY: My Uncle Sowing Beatitudes, by David Bottoms

1
When he huffed out of the woods at the foot of the hill,
both fists clenched rocks. My uncle saw him
before he reached the field,
and stopped hoeing,
stood up and leaned on his hoe.
This was a cousin on his father’s side,
nineteen or twenty, and a week out of jail.

Far off in the okra a wind whirled the dust,
a rustle of needles
sparked the tree line. He screamed something
I don’t recall, he kicked the dirt,
he wanted to fight. He was drunk
and sick of his mother nagging
about the muddy well.
My uncle’s tractor had been causing a runoff.

Or it hadn’t, my uncle said,
the well was almost half a mile away.
But the boy threw hard out of the sunlight
and caught him on the cheek,
and my uncle wobbled,
a little dazed.

2
I pop the clip
from the pistol and cross that same field fertile
now only in memory. The woods are quieted
from the shots, and the field is quiet,
in the far distance stretching toward the road
only one indignant crow.

Four bullets clustered in the heart of the target,
three more in wounding range–
good enough.

Listen, here in the foothills
above the suburban skirmishes of apparent Armageddon,
I can’t turn around without having
to untangle parable.
I run a fist into a coat pocket, loose change
of cartridges. All over the ground,
sunlight on spent brass.

3
Bastard, coward,
I remember those names, and the boy spitting
and pointing his finger.
Dust rose again behind them
and the small sky darkened with vultures.

Vultures?
No, but in middle age the memory circles.

So my uncle only turns again to his hoe,
his chopped strokes and drags,
edgy hacking at clods,
and he isn’t a small man, early forties,
stout, ex-marine who’d out-toughed the Japanese
on Guadalcanal. (Could thirty years
completely cloud his shadow?)
He hoes his beans until the boy disappears,
then brushes the cut with the back of his wrist,
I recall this about him,
along with the morning
he crouched for hours beside an icy creek
only to balk at shooting a buck.
In Paradise, he may have said,
not even the violence of a heartbeat.

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SCRIPTURE: The Poor in Spirit

I could be wrong – but I don’t think so – but it strikes me that the whole lot that has been written about the first beatitude in Matthew – Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall inherit the kingdom of God – is mostly about spiritualizing poverty.  Making the state of material want a holy state.

(Dim overhead lights, bring up soft background glow, and pipe in sweet voices in perfect harmony – but only in open vowel sounds, mind you.)

The problem for this for me is multi-layered.

First there’s the harumphing around the idea that somehow being poor – having no access to good dental care, being limited to chicken wings (if you’re lucky), doing your best to make do with two pairs of underpants – somehow makes you a better person.

Or is it that?

Could it be more the idea that you’ve struggled all your life, you’ve done without, so now that you’re dead, God’s going to let you sit in the Holy Sauna in Heaven while your pâté is served to you by never-surly angel-waiters.

Yeah.  See. This just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Because let’s face it.  There are a whole lot of mean poor people out there.  And there are rich people who spend their money doing good for their neighbors.

So holy holes-in-the-knees poverty can’t be a real concept.  Not real at all.

(Which is not to say that some who have adopted poverty as a lifestyle haven’t benefited from it.  But that’s another reality altogether.  But that can’t work in this instance either because just because a person adopts an impoverished lifestyle doesn’t mean that he is going to benefit from it, or become a good and holy person.  He might benefit from it, or he just might become yet another mean poor person.  And we’re back to where we started.)

One problem that I see with the Bible is that a whole lot of stories in the Old Testament can be taken on a relative basis, that is, Moses in a basket is just that: a baby Moses in a basket.  It doesn’t take that much mental strain to see what’s behind this whole thing: infiltrate the enemy’s camp.  And then take it down from the inside.

And start really, really young.

Fine.

But once we get to the New Testament, once we do our best to crack open the Gospels, with their red type screaming lessons at us, we have to set aside our confidence in ourselves, thinking that we know what is going on.

Because it strikes me that what the red type is really screaming is that we really don’t know what’s going on.

At all.

And that is because of the difference between God’s absolute nature, and our own relative nature.  Oh, how we love to put things into terms that we understand.  That we can manipulate.  That we can control.

I remember the first time I heard the beatitudes read out in church.  I almost fell out of my pew.  Because what I heard and thought was: Blessed are the meek– SO WHAT’S UP WITH THE ARROGANT?  Are they cursed? 

I figured that the opposite of blessed is cursed.

And that’s what I thought about during that whole sermon: this is about Jesus standing up in front of a whole lot of people and dividing them, and looking right into their eyes, and telling them, you, over there, I’m not blessing you.  Get it?  (Because, after all, a truly meek person would be the last person to admit that he was meek, and so would not benefit from knowing that God blessed him.  It would the arrogant who would be imagining themselves with their inheritances.)

And I was amazed.

And very, very impressed.

Because it struck me that pretty much no-one was listening to that side of the lesson.

But now that I am older (yes, and wiser) and subtlety has bashed its way into my thick bull’s head, I look at what has to be: that these lessons are absolute teachings of God.

Which means that they have to apply to everyone at all times of history.

And what fascinates me about that is that when we are given absolute teaching, we have to encapsulate it in our own relative brains.  Like a mosquito encased in amber.

Frozen, as it were.

We’ve captured it.

Here, when we read the beatitudes, we, as I did as a child, think of the comparison that is being offered.  If we are poor in spirit, then we’ve got it made in Heaven.  If we are, um, rich in spirit, then, what, we have to sit in the bleachers?

It’s there, whether we like it or not.  The comparisons that are thrown to us in the beatitudes that land like a lump at our feet.

But, as I wrote just a few minutes ago, those comparisons can’t work.  They eliminate absolute values.

So these comparisons are just illusions.  We cannot define the concepts in the beatitudes in terms of what we have come to know through the experience of our lives.

So, what then, is the absolute value of poverty?  And how does that apply to our soul?

And how can we truly understand that while in normal life, more it better, here less is better.  Or so it seems.  Or are we clever and make it flip: the more poor in spirit I am, the  better.

Ah, comparisons.

Can’t work in terms of God.

In his quite short, yet amazing, book, Poverty in Spirit, Johannes B. Metz proposes that when Jesus flouts Satan’s challenges, that he is reducing himself to the true state of man, and becomes, accordingly, poor in spirit.  He brings himself down to a state of being able to do nothing.

And so I wondered, is our spiritual impotency, that is compared with Jesus’s spiritual wonder, the true expression on Earth of poor in spirit.  We cannot raise our hand and by doing so, bring someone back from the dead.  Or make demons infesting a person come out and go into a passel of pigs.

We know that Jesus can do these things (and more), so why then does he shut down just because Satan is around?

It is an interesting situation to ponder: Jesus so very capable and proven to be so, but in this case, he becomes an ordinary man with hunger pains, an aching back, and nothing to show for it.

And by extension (going backwards), was our expulsion from Eden, in truth, just the beginning of our learning that we are nothing without God?  Was it a seemingly never learned lesson that we are, at the base of our existence, absolutely impotent?  That we are in every spiritual term there is, nothing.

Metz goes on to describe Jesus in his Passion as the ultimate expression of the concept of poor in spirit.  He is alone.  He receives minimal help from others.  He cannot change the destiny that is laid out before him.

It was written, and Jesus walks the words to their ultimate destination.

Do we, then, come to our own poverty of spirit when we completely surrender to the book of our life that God has written for us?  Is the attainment of the ideal of being poor in spirit achieved by stopping ourselves from insisting on asserting that we know what’s best for us in our lives, instead of allowing our lives to unfold before us?

Is our ultimate destination in life the place of kneeling down and saying to God, I can do nothing without you?

 

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